Alexander Borkowski

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16: Ted Talking the Talk & Ted Walking the Walk

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16: Ted Talking the Talk & Ted Walking the Walk

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have been hauled off to the ScenarioTron for a test of their business skills. Or is it a trap!? Ah, dear listeners, you know it’s a trap! Can our heroes escape the banal-yet-friendly digital clutches of Ted the Electronic Coworker? And once they do, how will they while away the time it takes to make it through Mr. Kammen’s seemingly endless line? Perhaps with a  trip down memory lane, a battle with an old foe, and discussion of email body positivity?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.2

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.2

*Psychedelic Sitar* The Feyboy Gang is as high as they’ve ever been (in both drug and penthouse floor terms) but they still have work to do. Hot on the trail of the mysterious Prof. Gregsteen and the vivacious Salamander Cigarette scion Salleen Cindermander, they delve deeper into the penthouse. Can our heroes get the photos and quotes they need, or will they lose their sanity before they ring in the New Year? 

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.1

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.1

*Jazzy Trumpet* The Feyboy investigations crew is back at it, baby! This Swingin’ New Year’s Eve our heroes have been dispatched by their magazine to attend the party of the mysterious and magnetic New Mind Guru: Professor Yohann Gregsteen. Tonight he is taking his closest colleagues and devotees on a journey to the Tip of the Golden Triangle. Stick out your tongue and receive the Professor’s blessing...and see if you mind can take the view.

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Wild at Heart

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Wild at Heart

Hark, dear listener! I know you’re probably so worried about your favorite four adventurers! When we last left them, they were about to be torn apart by interns! But wait, aren’t you curious about this big, giant records room? I bet a little, right? Well let’s take a little detour off our tale to learn more about this room. I know a tale from long ago that might put everything in context. A tale of intrigue, danger, and betrayal! It takes place in the year 1964…

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 3: Apples, Am I Right?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 3: Apples, Am I Right?

Oh, dear listener, isn’t this story heating up? Our adventurers have ordered their reputation-saving donuts and decided to take a break from their quest to just kick it at a bar for a bit. You know, dear listener, normal workday stuff. Anyway, they venture into this bar looking for dirt on their nemesis, Alan Bloodskull, and discover a hard-drinking day bar full of colorful characters that they feel they must bother. Will they make some new friends? Will they ever decide what the best apple is? My money’s on Fuji! I love those apples…

Desks & Dayjobs, Season 3, Episode 12: The Boss is a Vampire Pt.2

Desks & Dayjobs, Season 3, Episode 12: The Boss is a Vampire Pt.2

The battle continues to rage as The Bulldogs fight with Schuyler and his cronies. Will the tides turn against our heroes four? Or will a talking crowbar save the day? And once the dust of battle settles, will Brube, Hobe, Orlando and Stuart be able to pull the NPC Inc. shipping department back together, or is it too late for the workers? Find out in this exciting finale!

Season 3, Episode 11: The Boss is a Vampire, Pt.1

Season 3, Episode 11: The Boss is a Vampire, Pt.1

It’s time for a good ol’ fashion Boss Fight! Labor Distruptor Fight? Yeah! That one! Armed with the knowledge that Reno and Schuyler have been trying to rip off NPC Inc’s shipping department, our heroes only need to escape! But Schuyler and his beefy henchman have other plans. Will The Bulldogs escape, or will they face the vampire’s incredibly boring bite?

Season 3, Episode 10: Blazing Saddles (a Sexual Euphemism)

 Season 3, Episode 10: Blazing Saddles (a Sexual Euphemism)

The Bulldogs are on the hunt for the Best Lifter trophy! In order to siege the shipping facility’s tower (or two story building, depending on how you look at it) our heroes take a chance and split the party, sending Brube and Hobe to scale the heights and break into the Louis Gimbleglam’s office while Stuart and Orlando distract the workers with a good ol’ fashion forklift fight! Will our heroes find the trophy in time to save NPC Shipping from Schuyler Tantebo? Will history remember Hitch fondly? Find out in this exciting episode!

Season 3, Episode 9: Waiting for Godot With Horses

Season 3, Episode 9: Waiting for Godot With Horses

Having just defeated Orlac Stonebasher and his B-ball(tm) team, The Bulldogs are off to the gloomy warehouse to see what the deal is with the Loading Troll. What terrors—or horses—await them in the depths of this box-filled room? Will they be able to crack the case of why is this Troll is too sad to work? Will they find out who is systematically trying to make the employees miserable? And will Stuart’s Divine Portent ability EVER WORK?

Season 3, Episode 9: Rad or Bad?

Season 3, Episode 9: Rad or Bad?

Y’all ready to take it to the rim? Heave that rock? Press that court fully? Well come on and jam with the Bulldogs as they take on their latest challenge: a game of pickup basketball against Orlac Stonebasher and his very tall friends. If they win, Orlac helps and if they lose he’ll just keep playing basketball. This guy is really into basketball! Will the Bulldogs manage to somehow beat real athletes? Or are they about to get majorly dunked on?

Season 3, Episode 8: The Wight Stuff

Season 3, Episode 8: The Wight Stuff

On their way to meet Orlac Stonebasher (and maybe to see a really cool horse), our heroes are waylaid by a new, deadlyish enemy: a wight in a windbreaker, flanked by very dull members of the undead horde. Can they fight their way through these part-time terrors, or will they be crushed by an onslaught of boring conversations, bitter retorts, and a lack of humor about a very funny Oprah GIF?

Season 3, Episode 7: Take a Candy, Leave a Candy

Season 3, Episode 7: Take a Candy, Leave a Candy

As our heroes delve deeper into the bowels of NPC Inc’s shipping facility they discover a sinister mystery afoot! The shipping workers aren’t slacking, they’re being quietly replaced by more pliant part-time workers sent by some mysterious “labor disrupter” named Schuyler Tantebo. Will our heroes agree to help the shipping facility, or join Reno and Schuyler’s plot to make a quick buck off the outsourcing? Or will they just slack off for the rest of the day to play ping pong in the break room and give DM Alex a much needed confidence boost for his character voices? 

Season 3, Episode 6: The “IT” “Crowd”

Season 3, Episode 6: The “IT” “Crowd”

It’s time for our heroes to face DM Alex’s most devious puzzle yet…walking past a security guard into NPC Inc’s shipping facility. Will our heroes be able to muster the courage to walk right up to this very normal man and say “Hello”? Or will they spend a majority of this episode devising a terrible plan, only to see it immediately fall apart? Oh, you know it’s the second one! 

Season 3, Episode 5: Clorg Likes to Gorge

Season 3, Episode 5: Clorg Likes to Gorge

Time for our heroes to set off on their quest to the shipping facility! But the warehouse is far from the offices of NPC Inc, so it looks like our heroes are going to have to knock off work early and take their fair fantasy city’s public transportation system. Can they master the FCTA or will public transportation throw them just like a friggin’ stupid horse? Will they be able to navigate weirdly anatomical ticketing machines and the hell that is other people? And who is Clorg and what does he like to do? Tune in to this exciting episode and find out!

Season 3, Episode 4: Clarissa & Reno Explain It All

Season 3, Episode 4: Clarissa & Reno Explain It All

It’s time for the Bulldogs to go off on another quest, and we’re all fired up! Especially DM Alex, who’s full of piss, vinegar and cute lil’ sneezes in this episode. This time our mission comes at the behest of greedy executive Reno Jabroni. Will our heroes be able to follow default leader Orlando Jordan to get their instructions from Reno? Or will his cut-rate Cerberus of a secretary see through their clever disguises of “Air Conditioning Girl,” “Wifi Unplugger” and “Nervous Carmel Fan”?

Desks & Dayjobs: A Miracle on NPC St.

Desks & Dayjobs: A Miracle on NPC St.

Ho ho ho, Haaaaaapppppy Holidays from The Bulldogs! In this very merry episode, our heroes take a little break from their adventures to enjoy a little gift-giving. We also have a guest DM, as Stuart takes over the gameplay so DM Alex can play as Starp and Maxwell and also get plastered on nog. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or as we call it: the fantasy cat version of The 400 Blows.

Season 3, Episode 2: We Are Toilet Horse

Season 3, Episode 2: We Are Toilet Horse

It’s part two of our “Music Attending Extravaganza” quest and the band plays on! The band in question is, or course, Toilet Horse, and they’re…an acquired taste. As our heroes listen to the Doom-ska stylings of Toilet Horse, they take some time to meet the denizens of the Punch Bowl, and way more time roasting DM Alex for his STUPID emcee character. What a dope! 

Season 3, Episode 1: Everybody Tolerates Skaz

Season 3, Episode 1: Everybody Tolerates Skaz

The Bulldogs are back, and this time they’re taking their thirst for adventure / beer out to see their co-worker Agnes’ super hip rock concert. Will our adventurers be able to brave the depths of The Punch Bucket to see Agnes’ Bubis Thundercat and whoever the hell Frobisher Jehuty is? Or will they succumb to the horror of the very nice bouncer and the pressure of trying to seem cool in a room of people with denim jackets? 

Season 2, Episode 3 - To Cc and Bcc-een

Season 2, Episode 3 - To Cc and Bcc-een

Our heroes find themselves on another floor of NPC Inc, on the hunt for whoever is behind the copier crimes on their floor. Will they be able to find the info they need? Or will they have to kidnap someone? Boy, I really hope they don’t kidnap anyone, they just got done making friends with those dog-cops.

Season 2, Episode 2 - No Paper, No Peace

Season 2, Episode 2 - No Paper, No Peace

The gang (nickname pending) is at it again, sent on their most dangerous quest yet: to make and hang up a sign in the copier room. Will they find out who is using all the paper? Will they be drawn further into the copy writers' plot to unionize? Will Maxwell betray them, or will a sweet, sweet spaghetti lunch await them at the end of their journey? Oh, the intrigue!