Does an evil thing haunt you now? The night air fills with song. Corn pones are consumed. The trial of the century looms. The boys journey to Bun, Illinois.
A cold wind blows. Friends are divided by an election. A sideways shuffle resumes in the flickering twilight of civilization. Ben, shrinkin, is bullied by an addled boy.
It's the little things that matter. This episode is currently up for the MOST DRAMATIC SOLO PODCAST EPISODE AWARD. Please vote! Ben Banach nails it once again!
The story of Baby Island concludes (for now). The miniature word for "miniature" is "mini". No miniature word for "beautiful".
Even in this strange condition, I can find you in my hand.
On an unmapped mountain, the oak breaks, but the willow bends.
Under a troubled moon, milk is shed. Cocoons are broken. Near the mouth of a forest, fields of wheat wave beneath the stars. A vision is had.
Anyone can make a murderer, but late night owls are BORN. Ben falls hard. Lives are changed over the course of a party.
Dandelions in the mouth of a toad. Ben hits the road with road comic & noted werebear Jean Michel Stane.
All by himself, Ben is having a beautiful night. But things do not stay that way.
Learning how to entertain ourselves is an important life skill! Teaching children how to play by themselves sets them up for success now and later in life. In this episode, Cady Leinicke and I discuss how to encourage individual play with your nanny kids. Kids learn so many skills from some alone play time and you get a brain break! It's a win win all around!
Did you know that when a child first begins to lie it's actually a developmental milestone? From little fibs to invisible friends to be huge lies, this episode will help you navigate all the different ways we interact with lies as a nanny. Cady Leinicke is my guest and, as always, she brings a wealth of knowledge and book recommendations to this episode! If lying is something you're struggling with in your nanny family, this episode is sure to help!
Summer is starting to wind down and that means our kiddos are getting a little antsy. Lately, my guest, Leah Frires and I have been hearing choruses of "I'm bored" coming from our charges. Teaching kids how to handle being bored is such an important lesson and this episode is full of ways to combat boredom! From making a Boredom Jar to teaching them chores to having them create a play, this episode covers so many boredom busters, you'll never get bored again!
Every nanny has those days where literally everything that could go wrong, seems to go wrong. So I invited my friend and world class sommelier, Dan Kroes, on to pair some drinks with stories from the nanny community of no good, very bad days! This episode is fun, but please enjoy these recommendations responsibly! Enjoy!
ouble your trouble, double your fun! Nannying for twins may be twice the challenged, but it's also twice the love! Annie Lynch is my guest this week and we not only discuss strategies for nannying twins, but we also discuss our favorite movie twins! This is a fun episode that was a blast to record!
For many parents and nannies, mealtime can be one of the most difficult times of the day. Cady Leinicke is back again to talk us through ways to end mealtime power struggles once and for all! From picky eaters to slow eaters to messy eaters, this episode covers it all! Thanks for listening!
Cady Leinicke is BACK and she's here to offer some alternatives to timeouts. Though discipline styles differ from nanny to nanny and even from child to child, these are some strategies to try when timeouts aren't working! Check it out! And thanks for listening!
My guest this week is dear friend and summer activity genius, Carleigh Obrochta! Carleigh spent last summer eating her way around the world with her kiddos! They would pick a different country every week and make food from that country and plan an activity from the area too! What I love about this activity is that you can tailor it to be as involved or low key as you like!
This week's episode is very special because I have the two ladies from the Practically Perfect Podcast on in a crossover extravaganza! We are discussing online nanny websites and problems with the rating system on said websites. It's a hot topic and all three of us see it slightly differently! If you haven't listened to part one of this episode, go download it by searching "Practically Perfect Podcast" wherever you get your podcasts! And thanks for listening!!!
Transitions from parent to nanny and then back again are some of the trickiest times of day! Leah Frires is back to talk us through transition times and how to make beginning and end of day smoother for all parties involved!
Bullying is a complicated and difficult topic. As nannies, we are often the first to see signs of bullying in our nanny kids and, sometimes, the first person a child tells when they are being bullied. My guest this week, Katherine Siegel, is currently directing a play (Gideon's Knot) that really digs into these issues and came on to talk about ways we, as nannies, can help set our nanny kids up to not be bullied and also not become the bully!
Photo Scavenger Hunts are one of my absolute favorite activities to do with my kiddos. They are engaged with the world around them in such a fun and intense way! And we always find new ways to look at common objects in the world. And this is an activity that can grow with kids! If you've never tried one with your nanny kids, I highly recommend it!
This week is all about moving with or for your nanny family! Andrea Murphy is an amazing guest who has moved so many times over the past 8 years! She is also recorded this episode while traveling across the country for a nanny family! Even if you're not moving with or for a nanny family, this episode has some great tips for general moving! Check it out!
This week's episode comes to you by request! A wonderful listener asked us to cover micromanaging parents and boy did Brittany Vogel deliver! Always a wonderful guest, Brittany has some wonderful ideas about how to make it work when it comes to dealing with micromanaging parents and when to walk away! If you have ever felt put under a microscope as a nanny, this episode is for you!
After spending four years in the army, Andrea Murphy knows a thing or two about discipline! Andrea stopped by Chicago on her cross country road trip and I am so glad she did! We got to sit down and talk about our personal discipline philosophies and methods of discipline that have been successful for us!
This week Kirk Osgood is back to tell us all about nannying for boys! With game ideas and methods for helping boys develop deeper emotional lives, this episode is full of wonderful advice for interacting with young men in a respectful and fun way!
Sugar and spice and everything nice? Any nanny who has nannied for two or more girls knows that little ladies bring an energy that's all their own! Taryn Pryor is back to talk about ways to tailor your nannying for girls! From fun science experiments to book recommendations to how to build self confidence, Taryn covers it all!
And we're back! It's the season finale, the top of the 6th inning, and the Lizard People are up 6-5. The world order is at stake! So we have one question for you: Are you ready for some soft...ball?
It's the first part of the season finale, so get your pennants and softball caps ready! It's the Lizard People vs. the Illuminati! Who will win control of the Illuminati Office and the Earth?
The Moleman's prophecies were true! Elder Lizard Prime and her loyal lounges of lizards are drawing up battle plans and ascending from the Inner Earth in their fleet of Magmabusses to conquer the Illuminati once and for all!
Ahoy! Mystery Ken and Trouble the Cat are marooned in a pipe sticking out of the vast underground ocean, until a mysterious day care boat arrives in their time of need. Will our two lost souls become guests aboard this eerie ship, or will they join the ranks of the captive orphans?
Mazes! Minotaurs! Musicals! The unhinged, subterranean Moleman traps our small party of Illuminati coworkers with a dangerously imaginative game of his own design!
Down we go into HR Giger's dungeon to check out his expansive VHS collection for clues about the Lizard People. Perhaps our intrepid office workers will find the answers they seek in the home movies of HR's old unhinged friend - the Moleman!
Deception! Impostors! Lizard People! Turns out the new interns were scouts sent up from the Lizards in the Inner Earth to infiltrate our beloved Illuminati! Let's take them to court! Everybody, into the conference room for a quick courtroom parody sesh...
Ruh-Roh! It's a midseason finale! Jaime Buffet & his buddy Roadie stumble upon a body, Chaad & Mikey aka the Bizness Boyz are back in action to solve the crime, and secrets are revealed about the mysterious new interns!
Hank and Lloyd have a special treat for their new intern Guy Fieri! He's in for a cosmic whirlwind of flavor!
Tonight on a very special Clerk & Dagger, Satan is in disguise and on the ground floor in the newest episode of the hit reality TV show Incognito CEO! Will the workers at the Illuminati figure out it's him? Will Satan learn a valuable lesson about life as a low-level employee? What cool gifts will Satan dish out at the end? Find out tonight on Incognito CEO!
It's Clawsday in the depths of the Inner Earth, so you know what that means! Let's all go to the Human Zoo! Yes, it's the perfect day for all the lizard boys and girls to listen in on the human specimens go about their business in their natural sitcom habitats. Be sure to pay a visit to one of the newest captives known as…Mystery Ken.
Sam and Jimothy meet this mysterious new batch of interns and divvy them out to train under other coworkers. Keep an eye out on these fresh new faces!
No one escapes the office of the Illuminati! Clerk & Dagger returns to find Samantha Newberg settled into her well-earned role of "All-Star Intern" and overseeing a company carnival and picnic jamboree. Everything is going well until Hank & Lloyd invent new foodstuffs, four new interns mysteriously arrive, and Tammy's strange secret is revealed!
In this second and final part of the season finale, Sam goes to the depths of bathrooms to find a mystical object long thought to be non-existent and quite possibly the only object that could stop Mystery Ken's evil plan -- The Rule Book!
Sam awakens from the Dream Machine into a world of Casual Friday - a world of shorts, lime-a-ritas, and some jams! How is Sam going to get through the first part of this super-casual Clerk & Dagger Finale?
While locked and knocked out within the Dream Machine, Sam appears inside HR Giger's weird dream. She must find her way out with the help of Lil Dream Giger to investigate Mystery Ken's mysterious plan.
Sam is distracted from her task of gathering signatures to follow a mysterious sound. What secrets will she uncover? What lives in the foul depths of the office park?
Chaad and Mikey take it over and go through the office to solve a mystery in their own kickass way! Y'all ready for this?!
Gary quests for an outlet for the scavenger hunt to win Gail's affection, customer service gals Sallie Mae and Chevrolette hang out in the breakroom and take everybody down a peg, and Sam returns from the Cryptozoo!
After waking up from a long nap/sedation, Sam is placed in a room to watch an old copy of "New Employee Safety and Training" video.
Tammy's favorite day of the week has finally arrived: Monday! In order to keep the internet on, she must lead the weekly ritualistic bloodletting and lasagna potluck to appease the Wise One.
Everybody's gotta go to the bathroom sometime during the workday! While you're in there, chat it up with everyone's favorite Bathroom Priest! You don't have much of a choice, he's always there for you! Samantha confesses her progress to the Bathroom Priest, and the mysterious evil mastermind truly behind the petition for Casual Friday emerges...
Gary hasn't made a single phone call in customer service for years because of his D20-based contract. He's been on an incredible three-year luck streak! He spends most of his lonely days in his head as his heroic, high-fantasy self. However on this day of all days - Gambling Day - his luck is about to change!
After getting a secret mission from the Bathroom Priest, Sam's new job is to go around the office to get a mysterious petition signed. Her first stop: The Department of Synergy, which just barely contains the very energized, buzzword-inventing Hank and Lloyd!
Uh oh! Looks like Samantha's actions landed her into the biomechanical lair of Human Resources, which is managed by none other than HR Giger!
Samantha Newberg starts a strange new job she found on Craigslist and meets her absurd coworkers.
Things get weird immediately when our heroes confront Alan Bloodskull in the bathroom (it turns out scary lawyers don’t like being confronted in bathrooms) and they find themselves engaged in combat with their most dangerous foe yet. Will they get the information they promised Tracy? Or will they just bully an adult man into submission? This episode is brought to you by Cars.
The drinks and intrigue are flowing at the first meeting of the copywriters’ union! Is Alan Bloodskull actually there to help Tracy? Or is he all talk and no…legal advice? The Bulldogs are on the case, after they refresh their drinks!
A new day has dawned for our adventurers, and now it’s time for them to head to their clandestine meeting with the copy writers. Is something afoot at the Hammered & Sickle? Or do our heroes just have a real problem with looking for mysteries where there are none?
What is Maxwell up to in the bathroom? Is he scheming more ways to interrogate our heroes, or is there something more sinister afoot? It’s up to The Bulldogs to save the day/make a commotion in the kitchen…godspeed you glorious, pasta-eating idiots!
It’s lunchtime for The Bulldogs! Or is it TRAPTIME? As our adventurers set out with Maxwell for their fancy Italian victory meal, they struggle to keep up and keep Maxwell from learning about the copywriters’ secret meeting. Will they roll some twentos? Or will we all be tweeting #AreTheyOk, #No?
Important news alert: Our heroes have finally discovered their fun group name. Listen to this episode to hear the complete non-sequitur that inspired them, and also what happens when the team faces a slow day at the office. Will they spend their entire day bugging a fun co-worker, or will they decide to cash in a free lunch from an old foe?
The gang is back! After being ambushed by Tracy in the last episode, Stuart is in a tight spot, and the only one who can save him is Orlando. Will he be able to snap him out of his tech-induced fugue state? Or will one our heroes get fired before they come up with a great team name?
Our heroes find themselves on another floor of NPC Inc, on the hunt for whoever is behind the copier crimes on their floor. Will they be able to find the info they need? Or will they have to kidnap someone? Boy, I really hope they don’t kidnap anyone, they just got done making friends with those dog-cops.
The gang (nickname pending) is at it again, sent on their most dangerous quest yet: to make and hang up a sign in the copier room. Will they find out who is using all the paper? Will they be drawn further into the copy writers' plot to unionize? Will Maxwell betray them, or will a sweet, sweet spaghetti lunch await them at the end of their journey? Oh, the intrigue!
It's time for a new season of Desks & Dayjobs! In this episode, veteran office goof-ups Hobe and Stuart meet their new co-workers Brube and Orlando and take them on a mighty quest...to learn how to use some of the office equipment. Will they be able to complete this simple task? Or will they have to beat up on a machine?
We disrespect the troops and take a look at some band paintings.
Is the audio on this episode fucked up? Yes. Does Chris feel awful about it because it's probably our best episode? Yes. Honestly, this episode is so good it should get a write up in idiots monthly or something.
We ruin Jacob's love for Evel by reading about all the awful things he did. Listen to an innocent boy learn that santa isn't real all over again. Keep kicking ass for the lord you dumb dumbs.
The Dumb Guy's get close to scientology and then run away in fear! Well actually Chris didn't read the book so we have to shame him. Also, we flirt again with copyright law.
The Dumb Guys crawl around in the twisted mind of OJ Simpson and once and for all put the trial to rest. They also get off topic and talk about how tired they are. It might break some copyright laws. We'll see. Throw me in the The Hague, I dare you.
The dumb guy's take a look back at hall of fame scumbag Charles Bukowski's autobiographical novel about being a terrible person.
The Dumb Guys climb into the mind of Sadie Robertson and they don't like what they find. Follow along at home as we take the Live Original Challenge that ends each chapter.
In this episode the dumb guys read a book about some bigfoot hunters. They learn to laugh and love the great Tom Burnette and his insane hillbilly stories. They also learn to loathe Rob Riggs and his insane theory that the bigfoot is a ball of energy that protects another plane of existence.
This week we avoid being Left Behind from this popular series 20 years ago.
The boys read Holy Cow by David Duchovny, but they wish they hadn't
Join Jesse and Richard in an all-new Fuzzy People with guest Tiffany Keane, Artistic Director & Founder of Otherworld Theatre!
Join Fuzzy People as we greet the great Dylan Nelson, Co-Founder of the Few Brews Beer Club in Chicago, as we discuss college nostalgia, books, brews, and misadventures!
Join Jesse, Richard, and Tony as they interview comedian Nick Martin and talk about baby bins, the new interview space, zines, The Thread, and let's give a shout out to shout outs and more shout outs!
Join hosts Jesse Nicolaus and Richard Kniazuk for the first episode of Fuzzy People with guest Tony Melville! Listen, as we drink Malort from a sports bottle, enjoy the story of Tony's encounter with a weirdo, journey through a segment we're now calling Improv Story Time (for potential copyright reasons), and have an exhausting round of the Super Fun Game!
Mary & Dave are getting ready to get married in just a few days, and in from California are their friends Bella & Andrew. Bella is a former vegetable EMT and Andrew is "on the fringe of the entertainment industry." We talk music, marriage and YouTube stars.
Mary & Dave put together their new parenthood playlist for Impress Me With Music - an assortment of songs that make us think of the birth of our daughter Sophia.
Kate Meyers (aka Muhammad) schools us on musicals and we say a lot of ignorant things about a respected art form. Muhammad is Dave's friend from China/Kalamazoo and she is a literature and drama teacher, in addition to staring in many musical theatre productions over the years.
Dan Muller (We Book Celebrities) is our first guest. Our goal is to impress him with music we think he would like. We're not sure if we did or not. This episode includes: Kanye West, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the National.
Dave and Mary are back in Chicago creating the perfect playlist for the night times. This episode: Ebony Bones, Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment, Gil Scott-Heron, Sean Leon, Hot Chip, Dr. Dre, Kevin Gates, Handsome Boy Modeling School, and more!
Mary and Dave kick the show off in Miami, FL. In this episode we begin our ideal playlist for Summer 2017 (aka the Summer of Love Part 2).
Wall mounting has a double meaning. Bathroom troubles and experimental cats. Join the church of Tito. Boy bands are awkward. Trading is risky and Jesus is a product.
Mermaid music. Wake up! Have a drink. People are fake. Drugs and llamas. Fangirls don’t act their age. News is sad. Bob is everyone. Squirrels are thieves.
Mountains are high. Please interrupt. Bottom nethers. Corn is half off. Beware toaster strudels. Cars go fast. Hope don’t float. Dogs transform. Enjoy the rocket ride. Bombs and Triscuits.
Scooters are bikes. Weather is a metaphor. Hi. Kids should read. Trees may exist. Slugs need holders. Crotch shots can be tasteful. Making funny noises helps.
Butter it up. Relax. Jake’s hair is a nest. Monkeys eat bananas. We got Alzheimer’s. Dan forgot to start. We drop everything. Circuses are weird.
We’re living in the Matrix. Dancing is life. Sand is infected. Bulls need their eyes. Demons are taking over. People can be T-rexes. We like women and poodles. Aliens founded Europe.
We might be happy. What’s wrong with Betty Grable? Don’t do things you shouldn’t. Made up words. Outdated election references. I’m far away. Life choices are yours to make.
The news is new. Volleyballs hit people’s heads. We can hear our thoughts. The radio is known for sex. Sometimes you lose. Cheeses and Creamsicles. Gloves cover hands. Cats or dogs?
People have multiple people inside of them. Voles talk badly. Sports are games that people play competitively. Franklin plays music. Demons are bad at dating. Men of tin are tinny.