The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 17: It’s Lunch O’Clock Somewhere

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 17: It’s Lunch O’Clock Somewhere

Our heroes are between a ghoul and a wolf place, dear listeners! They have to tame the wild side of their friend Stuart and then fend off the terminally boring Norman and his HR co-workers, Bob and Suz. I believe in them, but do they believe in themselves? I guess you’ll find out in this next chapter of our tale, in which our heroes try to escape the paperwork pit, attempt some shopping montages, make and break deals with old foes, and discover a secret about Brube’s torso.

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16 also: Touch the Ghouls

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16 also: Touch the Ghouls

Oh dear listener, our heroes are trapped in the Paperwork Pit! Will they escape the clutches of Weird Norman (no relation to Weird Al) or will the allure of looking at birthday cards draw their attention from their escape mission? Oh, I sure hope they can hold out against these spooky undead co-workers, listeners! I mean, surely this group of ragtag adventurers, when faced with a tomb of monsters, wouldn’t go up and immediately try to touch them, right? Ah jeez, you’re right. They’re definitely going to try to high five the monsters.

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16: Ted Talking the Talk & Ted Walking the Walk

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 16: Ted Talking the Talk & Ted Walking the Walk

Greetings, dear listeners! Our heroes have been hauled off to the ScenarioTron for a test of their business skills. Or is it a trap!? Ah, dear listeners, you know it’s a trap! Can our heroes escape the banal-yet-friendly digital clutches of Ted the Electronic Coworker? And once they do, how will they while away the time it takes to make it through Mr. Kammen’s seemingly endless line? Perhaps with a  trip down memory lane, a battle with an old foe, and discussion of email body positivity?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 14: Monster MasHR

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 14: Monster MasHR

Greetings, listeners! Good to be back here in 2019, telling you the tale of our heroes, the Apple Barrel Gang, as they begin their Wednesday adventure. Though they are well rested from their successful quest to destroy the S.I.E.G.E., they now have to face the gauntlet of horrors that await them in the HR department! Can our heroes keep themselves from being part of Dr. Gregsteen’s twisted management methods, or will they be crushed (emotionally) by his menacing underlings before they even make it to their appointment?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.2

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.2

*Psychedelic Sitar* The Feyboy Gang is as high as they’ve ever been (in both drug and penthouse floor terms) but they still have work to do. Hot on the trail of the mysterious Prof. Gregsteen and the vivacious Salamander Cigarette scion Salleen Cindermander, they delve deeper into the penthouse. Can our heroes get the photos and quotes they need, or will they lose their sanity before they ring in the New Year? 

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.1

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Tip of the Golden Triangle, Pt.1

*Jazzy Trumpet* The Feyboy investigations crew is back at it, baby! This Swingin’ New Year’s Eve our heroes have been dispatched by their magazine to attend the party of the mysterious and magnetic New Mind Guru: Professor Yohann Gregsteen. Tonight he is taking his closest colleagues and devotees on a journey to the Tip of the Golden Triangle. Stick out your tongue and receive the Professor’s blessing...and see if you mind can take the view.

A Miracle on NPC St. 2: Gift of the Gerb-i

A Miracle on NPC St. 2: Gift of the Gerb-i

Ho Ho Ho! It’s me, Santa Claus! I’m here to introduce this year’s Christmas special! I hope you enjoy it - even though it’s just chock-a-block with swears, drunkenness, and anime references - and I hope you’ve had a very Merry Whateveryoucelebrateorchoosenottocelebrate. That’s a holiday this podcast is trying to make a thing. Do you think it will catch on? Ho Ho Ho, let’s check in with our heroes, who are spending a snowy evening in the festively decorated break room of NPC Inc exchanging gifts both sincere and shitty. Tis the season!

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 13: Meatba1!s

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 13: Meatba1!s

Dear listeners, our heroes have locked Chris, Destroyer of Interns, out of his office and now they must face a spicy meatball of a battle! Can they handle the might of a middle manager? Will new friend Gerbbi Richardson prove himself as Agnes’ new intern? What secrets lie in the liar of the Destroyer of Interns? A way to save Starp and the Grayguard? Or just a not-to-shabby camp comedy sequel?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 12: Carpe BM

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 12: Carpe BM

Greetings, dear listener! Our heroes are in quite a bit of trouble! Jackson Bloodskull-Williams wants them to report to his office ASAP to reprimand them for absconding with his new intern. Oooh, he sure is mad! And scary! Our heroes better come up with a plan quick, or their new friends are going to face the might of S.I.E.G.E.! Listen now to my tale of soda machines, interesting hats, and Gerbbi, the goblin everyone’s talking about!

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 11: A Dab for the Dead

 The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 11: A Dab for the Dead

Hark, Dear Listeners! Listen to my tale of our heroes’ pre-lunch adventures! The dastardly Mercita siblings have begun their reign over marketing, and their first assignment is to transport a reassigned intern from Marketing to Sales. Will our heroes be able to navigate through the battlefield of the Sales floor and deliver Lugosh the Orc Intern (guest star Hart Wood!) to “Daddy Sales”? Or will they be waylaid by business goblins, oddly flavored vapes, and harsh “no clapping” policies?

The CondoHouse of Horrors, Vol. 2: The One Where Everyone Rides a Giant Moth

The CondoHouse of Horrors, Vol. 2: The One Where Everyone Rides a Giant Moth

Happy Halloween, dear listeners! Our heroes are taking a break from adventuring at NPC Inc to spend another night of terror and awkwardness at the condo of Orlando Jordan! Our heroes have invited some friends new and old to join them this year, but a sinister pall quickly falls over the party as they’re suddenly stuck babysitting a pair of eerie children. Can our heroes survive a night of sexy capes, nervous Pee Wees, human horsepedes, and dangerous Fort Night dancing? Or will they have…AN UNHAPPY HALLOWEEN?! The “stakes” (Ha! Vampire Joke!) have never been higher!

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 10: A Unicorn I Gotta Meet

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 10: A Unicorn I Gotta Meet

Dear listeners, the clock ticks ever closer to the arrival of Linda Drakonis and our heroes are running out of time. With a card in hand and a battle on the horizon, our heroes must fight for either Team Taco or Thai Team (not confusing names at all). Will they bring peace to the Dragon’s lair and Cry’aig and Pal’a’s troubled marriage? Or will the arrival of Linda spell doom for one of our adventurers?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 9: A.B.K (Always Be Kobolds)

The Hoffman Chronicles, Chapter 9: A.B.K (Always Be Kobolds)

Oh, dear listener, I hope you weren’t on the edge of your seat after our last episode, because if you were then this part of my tale will make you fall right on the floor! Our heroes are split, with Brube, Agnes, and Stuart being held captive by mundane conversation and Maxwell being caught up in a real pickle (not that pickles aren’t great! Let’s be fair to pickles, everyone). Listen now to my tale and hear a story of betrayal, envy, and Fantasy Netflix! 

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 8: Journey to the Center of the Birthday

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 8: Journey to the Center of the Birthday

A new day has dawned at NPC Inc., dear listener, and our slightly hung-over, clown-haunted heroes are at it again. Can they conquer their most difficult task yet: trying to decide what to do with their day!? Oh, of course they will! We wouldn’t have an hour long story about people just shootin’ the shit in an office and trying to decide what to do with their morning! Or would we? Seriously, we wouldn’t! They finally get off their butts and go on a quest like, ten or so minutes in. And it’s a very exciting, birthday-based quest! 

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 7: The Rowdy Crowdy

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 7: The Rowdy Crowdy

Hark, dear listener, Satanic Panic is about to take the stage! Are you as excited as I am? I already know the story and I can barely contain my excitement and desire to spoil all the surprises. There’s a monster fight! And music! And a brief but wondrous puppet show! I can’t even go on or I’ll spoil it. Will our heroes end their night on a high note? Or will is an evil force there to make them face the music?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt 6: Happy Ho(u)rse

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt 6: Happy Ho(u)rse

Hark, dear listeners! Our heroes’ Monday is coming to a close, which means it’s time for…*Thunderclap* **Scary Violin Sting** HAPPY HOUR!!! As our heroes descend into the BoneZone without the aid of their friend Maxwell - who has tummy trouble after too many lunch wines (but really Brandon is getting married! Congrats, dude!) - they are beset by rowdy friends, a stern bartender, and a gathering crowd of fans and foes of Agnes and Hobe’s band, Satanic Panic. Will they eat the bar…or will the bar eat them? 

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 5: Robert Zombert

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 5: Robert Zombert

Oh, dear listener, our heroes have been cornered in the Records Department by the underpaid interns that haunt these dark corridors of files! They’ll have to fight their way through these tragic, ambitious youngsters if they want to find the information they need buried deep in the depths. But who knows what mysteries lurk in the dimly lit narrows! Perhaps one of our adventurers will stumble upon a lost item and unearth not just the information on the missing photographer, but also the secret of Mama Storybrook’s menacing friendliness? But will their friends wait for them…or leave them behind?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Wild at Heart

The Hoffman Chronicles, Interlude: The Wild at Heart

Hark, dear listener! I know you’re probably so worried about your favorite four adventurers! When we last left them, they were about to be torn apart by interns! But wait, aren’t you curious about this big, giant records room? I bet a little, right? Well let’s take a little detour off our tale to learn more about this room. I know a tale from long ago that might put everything in context. A tale of intrigue, danger, and betrayal! It takes place in the year 1964…

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 4: Trick-R-Doodles

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 4: Trick-R-Doodles

Dear Listener, our heroes, now known as the Apple Barrel Gang, have set off on their most pressing of quests: to find the work of the missing photographer! So they embark with the help of an old friend to find the Records Room. But what will they find there? Will it be traps? Will there be terrible college interns? Will there be an adorable old woman who only wants to tell their futures that they intrinsically trust for reasons beyond their control? Listen to my tale and find out!

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 3: Apples, Am I Right?

The Hoffman Chronicles, Pt. 3: Apples, Am I Right?

Oh, dear listener, isn’t this story heating up? Our adventurers have ordered their reputation-saving donuts and decided to take a break from their quest to just kick it at a bar for a bit. You know, dear listener, normal workday stuff. Anyway, they venture into this bar looking for dirt on their nemesis, Alan Bloodskull, and discover a hard-drinking day bar full of colorful characters that they feel they must bother. Will they make some new friends? Will they ever decide what the best apple is? My money’s on Fuji! I love those apples…