Folks, we did it. It's the most silly episode of Every Damn Magic Card yet because we're talking about the unhinged Magic card "Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental" (yes, this is the actual name of the card). The mana dorks Jesse, Meadow and George had on special guest Martin Felshman to really dissect the card OMRSTPLRLCNSWMTCTHTALCNEE (for shorthand) to see what makes it tick and just what it's got swinging. Once again: this is a silly one. We're going to play Roblox with you mentally.

Scales used in this episode include:
The James Dobson Scale (how satanic is this card?)

The Un-Scale (How silly is this card?)

The Johnny Scale (How many weird combos and ways can you break this card?)