Acclaimed author and ornery old white man Mark Twain once said that “under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer”. And goddamnit was he right. A perfectly place swear word can provide one’s emotions a proper venue for expression. I love seeing film characters melt down in a slew of swears or erupt in an explosion of expletives. So here is a list of the most fantastic fucks in film history. This was created under unbiased, completely objective conditions so as to ensure accuracy as being the undisputed best quotes (lol nope! These are just my favorites, no science was involved).
“Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.” - Die Hard
The most perfect quote from the most perfect movie of all time.This is the moment when Bruce Willis went from romantic comedy TV actor to action movie superstar. Sadly, not long after this, he took a few steps back in terms of coolness when he made the decision to form a shitty dad rock band.
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!” - Half Baked
In this flashback scene, Scarface spoke to all of us. All of us who have ever absolutely hated and loathed our jobs and had to put up with more than our fair share of crap from shitty managers. He lived out everyone’s fantasy of not only quitting a dead-end hellhole job, but going out in an epic blaze of glory, making sure the whoooole place knows how much you hated everyone there (except for you. You’re cool)
“Come on, you fucking cunts!” - The Entirety of Bronson
It’s hard to choose only one line of Tom Hardy’s dialogue from this movie. Because this is what ALL of his dialogue in the movie sounds like. For real. Throw in some greasepaint-covered dicks and references to Magritte paintings and that is the entire plot of Bronson.
“Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?” - Heathers
It is so gratifying to watch a movie like Heathers where women not only use obscenities but use them freely and quite creatively. One thing that I nerd out hardcore on is sociolinguistics (yes, I know, it makes for absolutely fascinating party conversations). It is a commonly held belief in our society that swearing is a sign of not only a lack of intelligence but also a sign of being thoroughly unladylike However, our society does not value intelligence in women so?…I guess it’s a real fucked-if-you-do, fucked-if-you-don’t situation.
“I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!” - Snakes on a Plane
This quote is on here only because it lead to one of the most horrifically awful TV edts of swear words of all time. The movie is famously bad but it may be more famous for the not-Samuel L. Jackson voice that dubs over this iconic line with “I’ve had it with these monkey fighting snakes on the Monday to Friday plane!”
“There’s just one thing, Dude.”
“And what’s that?”
“Do you have to use so many cuss words?”
“What the fuck you talking about?” - The Big Lebowski
Story of my life, Dude.